Forgive me

Forgive me but I can't forgive
Myself and what I believe
I throw my hands up because I know I tried
But love is crippling so best to let it die.

Run my fingers through my hair
Drink this wine and stare
Into the mirror at the disaster this is
Knowing this is no way to live.

One step forward until I think
Then two steps back and I need a drink
The glass fills more and more
Begging for the fantasy of you walking through the door.

Tormenting myself to the a point
On the end of a daggers edge
Slipping and sliding
Just begging for this love to be dead.

Why does the heart beg for one more kiss
And why does this soul continue to exist
Begging for a lover and mate
Why can't it learn to hate?

Forgive me as I slip away
Forgive me as I end this play
Forgive me as I try
Forgive me as I beg this to die.