Forgive me

Forgive me but I can't forgive
Myself and what I believe
I throw my hands up because I know I tried
But love is crippling so best to let it die.

Run my fingers through my hair
Drink this wine and stare
Into the mirror at the disaster this is
Knowing this is no way to live.

One step forward until I think
Then two steps back and I need a drink
The glass fills more and more
Begging for the fantasy of you walking through the door.

Tormenting myself to the a point
On the end of a daggers edge
Slipping and sliding
Just begging for this love to be dead.

Why does the heart beg for one more kiss
And why does this soul continue to exist
Begging for a lover and mate
Why can't it learn to hate?

Forgive me as I slip away
Forgive me as I end this play
Forgive me as I try
Forgive me as I beg this to die.

Reality...

Hello my darlings. Swirling out in the mist... Taunting me with malicious smiles and gleaming white teeth. I know you are hungry Ready to prey on my mind.

Ah... There it is. The cool touch of ice that sends a shard of ice cold pain into my heart. Trying to extinguish the fire, the passion, for life. Tempting me to do something dark and selfish. Just for me. To take all this pain away...

There must be a reason to live. I try and remember as the ice spreads. It is so cold in these New York apartments. It is so empty in a city full oh human life. The rich, the middle, the vermin all living together but never really being of any comfort to the other. So why continue? Is there value in my life? Does it matter... Ah. The ice spreads.

There is pain in each joint and exhaustion pulling me down like a weight. The voices and glowing evil eyes chase me through the night and I run for my life only to look down and be slipping on ice. The world covered in a heartless carless shell. Zombies staring back at me and him as their leader.

They torture me. His own hands do it and I stare into the gaping abyss that is his cruel smile. His ice cold hands scratch at my skin that covers my heart. Longing to rip out the heated muscle and turn me into one of them. Giving me over to the dark thoughts that have been chasing and feeding off my fear and doubt.

"I'll take this by force" he says in a scratchy voice. To much coldness has frozen his ability to even communicate with another human.
I stare at him and know my soul mate stares back at me. This cold icy creature who tears at all my security, who eats away the fire in my soul only to reignite it... I know him. I love him. I love this world despite the freezing stagnant souls that wander it.

I face the abyss in his smile and long to kiss those lips and melt him.
"You already have my soul. If you must take what you need from me"
He screams and the voices let out a loud peal of anger and pain. Fire ignites and the world melts...