These Notes Float

The fingers dance across this keyboard
Your hands dance across my heart and squeeze
Deep breath as I spiral down
No grip can hold me here
Not even those eyes that tear at my soul.

As I walk away my heart pounds
Desperate to escape my chest and come back to you
But you never wanted it to start with
Those were just pretty lies
That lay in bed with me at night
And left me to cry in the morning light

These streets are new and the faces are too
The small apartment and smell of city
None of it is familiar
None of it is you

If I could tell you now
That I would stay if you just asked
Begged and promised
Just hold me close before the future becomes the now
Don't let me go so easily
Don't keep lying
While my heart is bleeding, breaking, dying

Each step is a step away
Each night leads to a future day
And we smile, grin and bare it
As we lie and tell each other shit

I love you is the truest thing I can say
But it won't ever matter
Because you will let me walk away that day
Because you won't be true to me and to you.

Sweet Hello

I haven't been on here in awhile. A long while. My life has changed in many ways since my last entry, and in many ways it has stayed the same while I have changed.

Now I am a graduate. Now I have a kitten. Now I have lost weight.Now I am comfortable with what and who I have become. Now I am moving to New York...

However, I still laugh out loud at random thoughts. I still watch spongebob with a loyalty that would make a dog envious. I still love Robert Downey Jr. I still can't put down books.

So what is there to say? I haven't been totally on the surface lately. I tend to be making a plunge down into myself only to come to surface for the necessary interactions.

I don't know that there is anything to say. I have been listening a lot and not writing as much. I have been reading more than anything else. So I think I will delve back into my current book.