Stagnant Silt

If the world is full of color and sensation then what happened to my canvas?
What have I done? The colors have faded from a vibrant hue of reds and blues and greens and purples to a faded, dull, and stormy gray. There is no flash of lightening there is no rainbow to give hope for something different. There is only different shades of gray and empty nothingness.

Why don't I add some color? I don't know how. I don't know that I am done with this gray painting. I have been living on this canvas for so long that I am scared to start something new.

I am craving a change. Like a drug, I need something new something to move me. I haven't been moved in a long time. My spark has flickered and sputtered and is struggling to grow back into a blazing fire. There is no positivity in me anymore. There is only doubt and frustration and the knowledge that I could do something else but that I am scared to take that step.

I know how I could change things... but I know that will hurt. Change isn't very pleasant at first. It can be terrible and down right painful most of the time. However, usually there comes the bliss once it is realized that this was not for the worse.

Do I change? Do I fix my own problem? Or do I become on of the billions who settle and keep on trying to change gray into yellow?