If love exists then it is in the rain

There are moments in my life where I have felt truly and totally part of life. Not a moment of excitement or of thrills.

When it rains. "God is in the rain" was said in a wonderful movie.
Only when there is a truly outrageous storm do I feel myself melt with love, with devotion, with utter contentment with life. Captured in each droplet that runs down my face, each bolt of lightening that zaps awareness with its blinding light, each boom that vibrates through my body as the clouds grumble with lust for more.

When the sky, the heavens, the utter beyond opens up and pours the contents down. Each river, lake, stream, puddle, ocean... It touches you in a way you can't be touched by anything else. Each tear that has been spilt comes down again and drowns the grass with sorrows and happiness.

I was in love in the rain once. Easily one of the best nights, so far, of my life. Dancing, running, singing, kissing... Drenched clothes, a small dorm bathroom, washing water with water.
Now those jeans don't fit, that shirt is sold in a garage sale and yet... I still have that moment each time it rains. On replay in my head begging to be felt and touched and heard. My heart beats with longing for something to happen like that again. For that touch that says "forever".

If...when I move away will I see these kinds of storms? I can't imagine anything as perfectly chaotic and peaceful as the storms Missouri offers. It is a soul in torment. A soul in love.

I sit in the rain, especially when it pours at night. I cry with utter joy, literally, from the beauty of perfection. The glow of street lights, the thunder cracking like a whip overhead, the rain soaking me and bringing me to life. It feeds that longing, it shows me that I am not alone when I ache. The Earth aches and groans and lusts for something until it can not bear the weight and so releases on those who would tear her to shreds.

I am not alone the rhythm of a longing heart. We have something in common. We reach, but there is always distance to overcome and obstacles in the way. Let these tears, the drops of pure need rain upon the earth and flow to the heart. The heart that mine beats for. Feed it, sustain it so that when I find it, I too can have a bright sunny moment of clarity.