Head Full of Lead

I wake up and there is no one here beside me...
There, playing in the background, the music talking about falling in love. "Take my hand" it begs.
Mine is empty, I could reach, I could fall in with you but I will withdraw. Because I don't think it is possible to love fully with the head I have. The replacement I received six months ago cancels out the heart almost every time. And I wake up from nightmares of cold eyes, violent hands, and "I can't do this anymore..."

Was it just a dream? And if so was it my nightmare, a dream, a moment in time yet to happen? All I know is my pulse rushed and everything hurt till I slept again.
Then another. Repeat of the first. My escape became a hell and now torments me silly today.
I slept but my head feels full of lead and I just want to be held and drift away where those things don't happen. But even in the darkness of night, in the comfort of sleep, whispers of a dark moment surface and steal away my breath.

The laundry needs done, a lot of reading awaits me, pages of economics, poetry, fiction, and literary journals; all of them begging for a moment of time. Then there are the shelves that need building, the workout that needs doing, the room that still needs cleaning, the internship that needs interned, the car that needs cleaned... I want it done today but there is simply no way it will be.

Ingrid Michaelson's Can't Help Falling In Love With You:

Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
So take my hand, and take my whole life too
Cause I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows so surely to the sea
Oh my darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be
So won't you please take my hand, and take my whole life too
Cause I can't help falling in love, in love with you
Cause I can't help falling in love, falling in love,
I keep falling in love with you