A carnal finish (part 3)

Her hand slid up and he opened his eyes. She tugged at his shirt and he pulled it off with out thinking twice. Everything he was doing was almost automatic. His body had wanted her even if his mind was saying they really shouldn't. If she was going to have this happen, he had already lost his chance to say no. Now he only wanted to get out of these clothes and give her whatever she wanted.
She grabbed his chin and told him to look at her. He saw that same terrifying lust that he felt wasn't entirely human, but then again she had always joked about her origins. He tried to smile but with more force than even before, she kissed him. Her teeth grazed over his bottom lip, biting a little too hard and he jerked. Her reaction was to simply push hard and pin him against the door again. Her nails were digging into his arms, drawing blood again.
She smelled it it on his arms, his lips, his neck. That intoxicating scent. His smell. She pulled back from him and stretched her hands over her head. He lifted her shirt up, revealing a lacy black bra and her untanned skin. Instead of going back to kissing him she reached behind and with a deft movement unhooked the bra and dropped it to the floor. "Scratchy fabric" Was the only explanation she gave before she started raining kisses and bites on his chest and arms.
The bites hurt but what she did with her tongue didn't "s-s-stopppp" He couldn't believe his mouth had just uttered that word. He had no need to worry because she only bit harder and then unzipped his jeans. She slid them down and focused on his legs. She knew it must feel better for him to get the harsh, heat trapping material off his legs and with her lips causing new sensations she could feel his body get hotter.
It was like a sauna in his house. The only thing that was relieving the unbearable heat was her mouth everywhere, and her cool hands massaging his thighs while she bite and kissed his lower legs making her way up till she was at his last piece of clothing. She slid off his boxers reveling in the sight of him fully nude and hers for the taking.
He felt her lips wrap around him and he moaned again. What he expected to be warm and wet was actually like a cool wave wrapped around him. He felt like lava was running through his veins and her sweet, cool tongue was the ultimate relief.
She didn't bite here. Here she only treated with gentle sucking and a steady rhythm that he thrust his hips eagerly to meet. She wanted to bring him close, but didn't want to finish him with her mouth. That would let out the heat that she had built up in him and then he would pass out. She she sucked gently and moved her hands across his fevered skin.
Every swirl of her tongue, every tightening of her lips as it ran down his shaft, and each moment that she sucked at the tip made him hotter and hotter. But he never wanted it to end because her mouth was all that existed in that moment.
He was feeling pleasure in every cell of his body but she felt the thirst taking over again. The nips she had made all over his body were already clotted and she needed something more quenching. She could feel his body becoming rigid and feel the blood race through his body and new he was close to orgasming. As much as she didn't want to stop and she knew he wouldn't be happy for a moment she had to drink. She slowed considerable and in a bold uncontrolled move his hand shoved her hard back down. Making her swallow him fully again. She allowed it because it was arousing to her as well, but she needed more from him.
Her mouth was gone. The unbearable heat became his only sensation. He moaned and dropped to the floor. "Water.."
She let him stay on the ground, it put him in a favorite position of hers. She hadn't worn underwear because she knew by the time she would have taken them off he would be in this state. All he felt was heat so intense he could barely keep from passing out. She lowered herself quickly.
HE felt her cool hand around him and then there was only her again. This time it wasn't her mouth but something even better. Her legs wrapped around him and she pressed her small white breasts into his chest and put her lips against his. He was wrapped up in the coolness of her skin and the tight wet that was now moving up and down as she began to ride him.
She felt him rewaken at her chilling touch and is hot arms wrap around her and pull her as close as they could get. She pushed his head sideways making his neck pop with the force, but he didn't notice. She started slowly trying to let them both savor the moment, as soon as she bit him she would loose her own control until it was done. As she bent to take that final drink...
He couldn't take the slow ride. He needed her now and he wanted nothing more than to ride her himself.
She found herself pinned against the stairs with him on top of her thrusting and grabbing her hips harder. A bold move and one that brought her to her own edge. "Paul, kiss me"
This time he did it and didn't say no. This wasn't a joke. But instead of kissing him she tilted his head and bit, hard, and reopened the first wound. She sucked and made moans of her own. Her legs went tighter around him and she matched each frenzied thrust with her own. He tasted so good, warm and edgy. He was something she had never had before. Something different. Every drop that touched her tongue made her wish it wouldn't stop, but she couldn't suck him dry if she planned on having him again. And that moment he started coming. As she tightened around him and licked the last drop from his neck, she knew she would want him again and again.
The heat left his body, but he didn't notice. He was passed out. She lay there in the awkward position on the stairs amazed with herself. No attachment, she had promised herself and yet, here she was already thinking about the next few months and what she would do.

It hurt less than a lot, more than a little. (Part 2)

I gazed into those eyes. "What is going to hurt"
"Everything, and nothing" A hint of her smile. She adored that he wasn't really pinned, yet, and yet he stood there with his back against the wall staring at her like he couldn't move.
"Maybe you should leave"
"You don't want me?" She wasn't flirting. It was simply a question. To the point and blunt. He didn't answer.
She went on her tip toes to whisper in his ear, "I won't stop when I start, now is your only chance to say no" She felt him react to the whispers on his earlobe. A sensitive spot. His muscles go slightly rigid and another internal battle begins.
NOT her. Off limits. This was just supposed to be hanging out and eating mac and cheese. What was she doing. He hasn't even known she could be like this. Did she expect him to just let this happen?

"I do expect it" She kissed him hard again.
"How'd you know? What the hell are you?"
"A wild guess... Or maybe, just maybe, I can read your mind" A giggle that sounds like glass breaking. She wasn't being seductive or even charming. Everything about her attitude was cold and jagged, and somehow she seemed to want him in a way she never had. Was this some kind of dream? He felt her teeth on his neck, if it was it felt good...
She bit him. Hard. No sweet nibbling, she wanted blood. This was going in a whole different direction from what he ever imagined but he couldn't help feeling aroused as her tongue swirled across the bleeding mark.
"You taste good" And he did. Sweet, coppery, and his own smell tainted every sense she had. His hands still hung at his sides, but his eyes were closed and he wasn't stopping her. His skin was getting hot underneath her cool hands. Her ears tuned into the sound of his heart beat next to hear head. Taller men were so much more attractive then those denied the gift of height. "Try and stop me now"
He heard her from a long ways away. He was lost in some sensual stupor. He had felt her bite him and almost shoved her away, but then he felt her sucking and every vein in his body started to throb with desire and heat. HE felt the beads of sweat dripping down his back at this moment, but his arms were heavy and all he wanted was to keep feeling her lips, her tongue, her mouth kissing and sucking at every available spot. A flitting thought passed that maybe this wasn't right, but at that moment he felt her unbutton his jeans and slide a cool hand into his boxers.
"Try and stop me Paul"
His name. That was his name... some one stupid was telling him to stop her. But feeling her hand wrap around his erection made it impossible to feel or think about anything else.
His moan seeped into her pours like air fueling a fire. He wasn't even trying to stop her and that made it all the more arousing. She was so tired of being good, so tired of being a friend. After months of playful banter and looks that heated her insides she wanted to let go of self control and be what she truly was.
He was hard in her hand. Ready for anything she wanted to use him for, but both of them still had entirely too much clothing on. He would burn up with extra fabric, and while she devoured his heat it was best to be able to offer her cool body to soothe the fire that would rage inside of him. The ultimate experience for both, passion and lust, mixed with an unquenchable need to take him into her in any way she could.

Tasting You (part 1)

She knocks on his door, timidly. "Come in" She waits.
"Come In!" She is patient, then he opens the door. "I told you to come in".
"Walking into houses isn't something I do. The door has to be opened".
"A little snobby don't you think?"
A grin graces her lips. She has had her back to him while the conversation happened. He has been taking in the sight of her shoulders covered in smooth white fabric of a plain long sleeved shirt. Underneath is a black bra, unusual for her to be dressed in something that actually reveals underneath her shirt. Her skirt is is knee length and simple brown. Her favorite. Strawberry blond hair is free falling, she prefers to have it so. Pony tails and buns give her headaches.
She is aware he is looking. She can almost feel his eyes carefully skimming her body and her skin gets goose bumps. "Kiss me please"
He laughs. "No" He moves away from the door and moves to walk around her but she turns and shoves hard. The only reason he falls back is because she caught him off guard. "What the..."
She has him pushed against the door. Her smile is gone. "I said please"
"You are joking"
She lets go of her grip on his arms, which if he wanted he would have easily broken out of, but he was still reeling from the surprise. Her hands touch his face, they are cold like usual, and then her lips are on his. She isn't kissing gently. She is forcing herself on him. Her lips are demanding that he reciprocate the action.
He pushes her back, gently. Not wanting to seriously upset her quietly asking, "What the hell...?"
She shrugs and instead of answering or even acting embarrassed she leans in again. This time she kisses his cheek, softer than she did his mouth then pulls back.
"I...I-I think I'm confused"
Another shrug and her hands press him back against the door. No shoving but she isn't being gentle either. He doesn't resist. He is flat against the door looking into gray eyes that look totally demon like. The innocence is gone, and instead there is a fiery, passionate, lusting girl who looks like she is going to eat him alive.
"Hey, stop with.."
Her mouth is on his again, her tongue gently running across the part in his lips. He reacts automatically and lets her in. His eyes close, but his mind doesn't shut off. What the hell is she doing. A different voice now comes in, who cares. Let it happen. NO! This isn't like her... Is it?
Her cool hands slide under his shirt. They move across his skin, freezing and melting everything they touch. His chest, right above his heart is where one hand settles. She pulls back.
"This is going to hurt, but only for a moment." She looks at him seriously. Everything about her is muted and cool, except her eyes and the way she is kissing him.

Pop goes my anger

I HATE HATE HATE cell phones. I hate being attached to something waiting and waiting and never getting a fucking answer. I can't stand when it doesn't work. Even after taking it to get worked on. I miss my old phone.
I hate being around my grandmother and her trying to kill me in the car. She is a terrible driver. Some day I will die in the car and she will be the reason. Stupid bitch. And she is always nosy. Always touching me. Always bossing me around.
My cat is meowing.
I hate when i get pushed to the side. I hate when I want to be alone and there is always someone wanting something done. Why can't I get a minute to think?
I hate traffic. And my cat getting on my shelf and knocking stuff off. Why can't my life and my stuff just go untouched by others controlling, greedy, oily hands. And filthy words of gossip and advice. Its always oozing into every pour of my body. Suffocating me. Choking me. I want to get away from this place. Now.

My brain chews

Angry. Lost feeling. Empty and sincerely unsure of what is happening to my heart.

I hate when my phone doesn't work. Stupid puddles and the power to fuck up my keyboard.
Anger is always bubbling below my skin. I used to be a cool ocean wave. Relaxed, happy, gentle. Now I feel explosive and heated. I feel passionate and lost in moments with lust, then annoyance, followed by self loathing.

Checklists help a day go by quicker. Check, check, CHECK!

My list isn't even near complete. How frustrating. There it is... frustrated.

Lost poetry is always and interesting read. Especially when you realize that it still applies. A lesson between the lines perhaps? I think so. Something I learned before and now I am forcing myself into it again. Because a cycle is how humans work. Soon I will get out of mine and live in a square. Asquare. Some one made that word for me. I like it.

I realized while reading that sometimes I write things that aren't even mine. I watch people on tv or just people in every day public then I write about the emotion I see crossing Their faces or in their words. Not mine at all. I steal it. That is why they come and go. I fill my self and portfolio up with other people's hearts since I seem to be lacking one.

The heart doesn't really feel. It feels pain if you have a heart attack and the like, but not that real emotional pain we attribute to it. I think... Sometimes when someone is leaving me I can feel my chest ache. What is that? Does that mean the heart is the center of emotion? Or is it just your brain torturing me, you?

I want to feel like I have accomplished more, so I have to do more. Write, read, go to the bank. So trivial, and yet it gives me the time I need to think and digest.

Let me stutter over the word Love.

Lets say... Just for a moment, that this isn't as hard as it is.
There the moment is past. Now back to the present.

I feel torn. Not that you care, but its true. Never have i been so out of sync with myself. Fun, easy going, silly, lovey me and Chill, party, school, adventure, change, pessimistic me are at a battle that would blow WW2 out of the park. Actually, I am not so self centered as to believe my own issues compare to that of the world's but it was a visual.

"Live in the moment. Focus on the positives. It may be good for us to just do some things on our own". Okay then. But when? What if I get sick of trying so hard all the time? I can't picture myself with out you, but I can't with you anymore either. And what about the ocean and all that jazz? The fishes... Halibut is my favorite but I enjoy crab, lobster, swordfish...

What has happened to my heart? There is a change. I understand life is full of lessons, so what is this one... Do i stay with what is familiar, or is this the time to grow and expand and focus on me without feeling so wrapped up in panic about something I feel could fall to pieces any moment?

But why do I feel crushed at the thought of not having you to talk to, do crafts with, be that side of me no one else gets? Never have I been so intimate and I don't want that with anyone else.

Love isn't something that I feel I always want. Or if it is, it is story book love. That love where he looks at me and smiles because he is so happy I am there. The love where I can't wait to cook dinner for him and then afterwards roll around in our bed laughing and being in love. I don't want what fades, I want what lasts. And sometimes I think I have it... other times I feel like I am pushing away from it because I know there are things that won't ever be given to me.

I cry when I see people get proposed to... Today at the baseball game... Because I want someone to love me that much. But I don't think that is there for me. And its sad, and I get it. Because I love freedom and movement and change.

But the other side wants to be tied down and loved so much that he would fight to the death just for me.

What is more important? How do I clear my head and listen to my heart? What if I am sick of what my heart has to say because it is so unrealistic?