Spilling my guts

I dropped a dumb bell on my head. And now my guts won't stop falling out.
Something got shaken loose when that weight knocked me so sweetly, as if to say, "You don't deserve to be awake any longer". Maybe I am still passed out in the gym and people are around me... probing and calling my name. Or maybe I am in the hospital hooked to tubes and IVs.

In this dream, I am miserable. I keep saying what I shouldn't. No one wants to hear that, not even a wonderful dream person. It isn't interesting. Nothing you have to say is interesting sweetheart. The already have told you that in the real world.

"Nothing is ever good or worthy. Nothing you do is better than the gum stuck to a shoe. Hahaha. Lets laugh at the girl whose own thoughts would disown her. Poke her with a stick, only after we light it on fire. Lets make her burn. "

My hate burns inside my flesh. The anger joins it and its like putting a barrel of gunpowder into a fireplace. A fire place without a key that rages without anyone to put it out. Those that could, aren't around to do so. So it is a spectacle to be watched.

"Torture her. Thats it! Make her regret! Let everyone watch and throw stones and crush her!!!"

The weight of those stares, those people listening to me scream. Watching me tearing at my flesh and peel it off. No one will help. They haven't before. only him and oh look. He isn't here! Its fine though, my heart is cracked and shattering into tiny pieces every bit more tiny than the last. Making it impossible to even be alive or much longer.

"Make her want to die. Make those tears drown her. Make her pay for continuing to hope. "

I'll make a spectacle, then crawl away. Into a hole far far away. In Greece, and the old buildings there can have my soul. i leave it there. I will it there. If I was to go anywhere else, I'd haunt the world till I was at peace. I deserve peace when I die. That is really all I want.