Spilling my guts

I dropped a dumb bell on my head. And now my guts won't stop falling out.
Something got shaken loose when that weight knocked me so sweetly, as if to say, "You don't deserve to be awake any longer". Maybe I am still passed out in the gym and people are around me... probing and calling my name. Or maybe I am in the hospital hooked to tubes and IVs.

In this dream, I am miserable. I keep saying what I shouldn't. No one wants to hear that, not even a wonderful dream person. It isn't interesting. Nothing you have to say is interesting sweetheart. The already have told you that in the real world.

"Nothing is ever good or worthy. Nothing you do is better than the gum stuck to a shoe. Hahaha. Lets laugh at the girl whose own thoughts would disown her. Poke her with a stick, only after we light it on fire. Lets make her burn. "

My hate burns inside my flesh. The anger joins it and its like putting a barrel of gunpowder into a fireplace. A fire place without a key that rages without anyone to put it out. Those that could, aren't around to do so. So it is a spectacle to be watched.

"Torture her. Thats it! Make her regret! Let everyone watch and throw stones and crush her!!!"

The weight of those stares, those people listening to me scream. Watching me tearing at my flesh and peel it off. No one will help. They haven't before. only him and oh look. He isn't here! Its fine though, my heart is cracked and shattering into tiny pieces every bit more tiny than the last. Making it impossible to even be alive or much longer.

"Make her want to die. Make those tears drown her. Make her pay for continuing to hope. "

I'll make a spectacle, then crawl away. Into a hole far far away. In Greece, and the old buildings there can have my soul. i leave it there. I will it there. If I was to go anywhere else, I'd haunt the world till I was at peace. I deserve peace when I die. That is really all I want.

Trace the moment for Forever

She breaths in deeply and takes the plunge.
The air is cold and wraps around her like a suffocating blanket, but she refuses to choke in this moment.
The stars glitter, the world revolves, and her hair whips around her face.
Each moment the concrete gets closer, and each moment she cares less.
Does her life flash before her eyes?
~ Sucking on a pacifier with water on it. Because she wouldn't have it other wise. BBQ burgers on a grill and beer in the fridge for the days when her father stayed home. Icing on cookies so thick that sugar coma was induced upon one bite. Screaming, blood, and calling the police after her parents fought. Her father's sad, apologetic eyes and promising he would never do this again. Walking out, turning her back on those who called her family...forever. Falling in love. Falling out. The time she thought she would hang herself, but didn't want her eyes to pop out. Losing her virginity to someone who didn't care. Going to college, graduating without Anyone who matters being there... They all died, and so was she~

There wasn't much of a life to flash.

The Horror

Everything in this body is on fire. I am aglow like millions of fireflies.
Passion and desire. Hate and longing. It mingles into a strong potion.
Begging to be drank. Begging to be ingested and mingle with this dying soul.
Don't let the dank smell suffocate you with its pungent aroma.
Let the mists wash upon you and blow you away.
Don't think just eat with a fierce hunger.
To complete your hole, that torn open chamber where once a heart used to fill you.
Bleed on my lips so I can feel the way you feel.
Cannablism never looked so tasty until I saw your shining flesh.