Crash and Burn in a flaming bloom

I had a dream about him last night.
It was a blur. There was an apartment... and I walked by another house in my neighborhood... and there was A.J and I called out to him. (he isn't the ex). He was my friend once upon a time, and then he stood me up after I led him on and we ceased to exist anymore.
He was there. And he turned and was like... hey whats up? What are you doing with yourself. I told him I lived really close and I was astounded that he was there. There was another guy in the room... brian. Again not my ex but a close friend of his. I invited them over... it was somewhat of a blur.
We ended up in my apartment. They walked around... it was a studio and blue. A light blue and the couch was dark gray and there was a lot of yellow too. Any way. We walked around. I laughed with them and asked where they had been. Brian kept looking at me in a weird way. Neither of them looked different and for some reason I started feeling panic. Thats when there was a knock. (how cliche i know). And Aj and Brian looked weird again, I asked if they knew who it was. Then it was like slow motion. I reached for the handle as I asked. They both just stared at the door. IT opened. And there he was... my ex. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. He stood there with this smile on his face that broke my heart into the tiny pieces that it had been after him. I felt sick, excited, scared, all at once.
"Can I come in" Thats all he said. Things started to move in regular motion. He said hi to the other guys while I stood their in shock. I started feeling repulsed because the room started filling with a haze, like smoke, and i smelled pot. They were laughing and looking around. I pulled the attention back to me. They all looked at me, Joel smiling still. "Hey guys can you give us a minute?" Aj and brian nodded and walked out.
Then he was standing there holding out his arms like I should hug him or something. "Why are you here?"
"Brian text me. I can't believe you live so close"
"You shouldn't be here. You should be at home with courtney."
"But I am not. Things aren't good"
"So you shouldn't be here"
"You miss me"
"Joel I couldn't miss you less. I have someone who finally healed those wounds"
He smiled again, and literally it was like a light turned on in the room. "Bennie?"
(the dream was vivid. i still feel like it is happening and thats why I can remember this so well).
"Yeah bennie. I am in love with him. We are moving in together?"
He walked towards me laughing in a condesending way.
"I missed you. I have for a long time."
"I don't care" I started crying. And he touched my arm. It felt like fire had licked my flesh and i cried out. But he grabbed me before I could yank away.
"You missed me."
"I stopped that a long time ago."
"You missed me goddamnit."
"I stopped..
"You never stopped. You never will." He touched my chest and the fire licked again and my heart felt like it was on fire.
"Stop" I managaed to choke out.
He smiled again. Then wrapped me in a huge hug. It was warm and comfortalbe, Not like the burning touches... But I felt like I was being drowned in the smell of pot. All I could see was bennie's face. "Let me go joel. Let me go" I yanked and tugged.
He just held on. No matter what i did he wouldn't let go.
"I didn't miss. I don't miss. I hate you" i screamed and went limp. That was it. he pushed me back but still held on, then smacked me, hard and i tasted blood.
"Fine. Lie to yourself. But i broke you, and I will remind you of it now... He reached out again and clutched my throat. "Remember how it felt, when I lied to you over and over again... when I cheated on you with other girls?" Remember how you suffocated in pain...
I couldn't breath. He was smiling. I was dying.