Whispering in the wind

I just feel like typing right now.
I just had dinner with two friends who I miss sometimes very much. But then we talk about once a week and that is good. I can't keep up with the drama of their lives but I do enjoy talking to them and I miss them for who they are.

Things in life seem to be flowing with ease. So of course I have the feeling that something bad is going to happen. It is a shitty way to think honestly and I wonder how to de-program myself from it.

Mainly I am thinking a lot about bennie. I have felt really insecure because of my body and what not. But I am working on changing that. I don't know. I have all these insecurities but I don't know why they seem to be attacking at such full force this week. I should really be great because I am so freaking in love and I have somebody that treats me like a total princess. I am lucky. I just wish we had more time together. I really shouldn't keep feeling doomed with him.

Why is it that girls seem to take things for granted? If something is going so well it is like they bicker just for the sake of bickering. That way it is still flawed and the perfection is unatainable and therefore they are less likely to get let down. Stupid brain.