Lost,

Just don't know what to do. I don't want to be here anymore. I am not looking forward to the next few weeks. Just December 31st... if we are still chugging along. If not... well the there goes the black hole.

2 hrs and 25 min. I am not counting or anything... Not at all... Please don't wrap. Please don't call and say nevermind.
Gotta get my mind off this. Wanna read a song I wrote?

Falling Star

Bleeding on the floor
Staring at the ceiling and wondering where the light is
But its all burnt out
Like the shooting star you once were.
Now the other stars twinkle around you
The sun shines in the day
And the moon glows at night
But you lay there bleeding and trying to fight.
Your heart throbs with the pain of something lost
The sparkle you once were
Sucked away by a meteor shower of pain.

Just wish it wasn’t so. Just wish they didn’t go.
They always do. Nothing ever rearranges in the sky
No matter how much you cry to your god.

The sky shimmers blue.
The night sky that holds you is a black hole
So shallow and so alone.
All the other stars shimmer as you fade away
So slowly comes another day.
No one will notice your gone
They will only remember because of this song
If anyone ever tells your story
The falling star with out a wish.

Just wish it wasn’t so. Just wish they didn’t go.
They always do. Nothing ever rearranges in the sky
No matter how much you cry to your god.

I like it. It is something I haven't written in awhile. I usually write when I have been wounded.
I want a man that means the things Michael Buble sings... I just don't want to doubt or hurt. I just want to go back to being comfortable and not feeling worried every second. I just want so many things...

Stronger than I think some say. Jittery with pills... not bad ones. Health ones i am taking to help out my body.
Am I lost... Baby your not lost the lyrics reach out to me. But there is no one to mean them.
French is looming. Gotta finish my work. But to hyped up. 2 hrs and 28 min now. ...29 then 30.
My phone just buzzed. I hopped up so fast... not what I wanted to read.
So damn jittery right now. Can't settle the hell down. Can't settle my mind. Can't get it under control.

I wanna fly. Sometimes I wish it was different. I don't want to feel like this. STop stop stop.
We'll get lost together... Where is he? To get lost with... no where. He isn't with me anymore... or is he. So lost.